here I go

here I go

Thursday, October 13, 2011

almost over

I'm in Colorado Springs on my way to Denver to fly home tomorrow, Friday, night.  Still don't have a lot of energy to write.  We packed so much into these 10 days and, per usual, I'm on overwhelm, still processing all that happened, my time with Marc and AJ in Santa Fe and the Lupowitz's and Maxine in Albuquerque, and Sally and Michael in Boulder.

What I can say is that I have been so enjoying the beauty and majesty of nature.  Colorado and New Mexico have very different flavors.  I love both.  I'm fed deeply by looking out and seeing amazing vistas.  I needed that!

Marc and I did well.  We had two breakdowns in communication, the second of which led to a great talk that was a long time coming.  Our relationship is evolving into something new and unknown and I'm confident that it will continue to be filled with love.  I cried for 45 minutes when he left for the airport...partly from sadness at possibly not seeing him for a while, partly from love and the sadness of him growing up and me not being his "mommy" anymore, partly from fear that life is so unknown and uncertain and partly from relief to be back in my own energy.

I'm flying home tomorrow coach.  i have been flying first class for the last few years to deal proactively with some claustrophobia in a plane.  No space in first class on this flight.  We'll see how that works out.

Ready to leave and not quite ready to go home.  Stlll wanting to find my "place".  New Mexico and Colorado are not it.

Thursday, October 6, 2011

soooooo tired

what an incredible day.  we're two days in and spent the day today driving from boulder west toward telluride, traversing the narrow, winding, mountain pass road in sleet and snow and deciding we'd seen the best of colorado and heading back toward New Mexico.  lots and lots of driving.  lots of gorgeous natural wonders.  golden aspens, snow capped mountains, expanded views that soothed my weary soul and anxiety attacks in the sleet cause i'm not ready to die.

marc and i travel well.  we chatted away, talked about everything under the sun, listened to Adele, B.O.B, classic rock, and Eckert Tolle's New Earth.  so cool that i have such a cool son.

i'll write about our boulder time in a day or two.

xo

Sunday, September 25, 2011

How Plans Change

My "few months out west" is now condensed into 10 days.  My body and mind changed since making the original plans and an extended trip is no longer appealing, for a few different reasons, at this time.  I'm clear about shifting my plans, my body is happier knowing that it will be tended to mostly "at home" over the next few months. Life continues to be "a trip".  I'm grateful, relieved, and open to what is in store over the next few months.

 I'm going to blog my road trip with Marc from denver to santa fe from October 4th. to the 14th.so stay tuned.

Glad you're still with me.  Hope you're staying flexible in your life as well.

xo





Stay posted.

Sunday, September 18, 2011

It may look like I'm not going anywhere, but you're not inside my head.  I'm traveling worlds.  There's the world of joy and bliss that i tap into periodically; and the world of figuring out interpersonal dynamics (spend a lot of time there); and then there's  the world of judging everything relentlessly. 


GIMME MORE JOY AND BLISS.  DANCING, SINGING, LOVING, SWIMMING, EATING, PLAYING, NATURING.

Friday, September 16, 2011

trips postponed until October 4.
MRI of thumb showed some worrisome signs
with potential for rupture.
no no no, that's not going to happen.

tending to what needs to be tended to.
stay tuned for
travels with sandy.

happy trails
happy trials.


Wednesday, September 14, 2011

I inadvertently deleted my first blog.
damn.
oh well.
this is a real
work in progress
as am i
see how patient you can be with my fluctuations
and "mess ups"
and i will too. (be patient).
cause no matter
whether I'm home or out west...
that's my goal and my commitment.

my right hand  and wrist are hurting me,
ouch.
broke wrist in january
thought it healed.
i must have strained it using it more than usual
compensating for the lack of use of recently broken left ankle.
do the chinese have "year of the break?
so now I have two vulnerabilities,
right now i'm not up to traveling
yet.
might wait till it's time to meet marc in denver, october 4th
and start there.
stay tuned.

 Airtran will refund my entire business class ticket.